Fraser on Influence - Sincere Conversation (and some humour)

May 5th, 2006

In Cleveland there was a gentleman who was acting as an ambassador for a city. He was holding a draw for two tickets and hotel accomodation for a major sporting event in 2007. After seeing the draw I leaned over to the guy I was travelling with and said, “you watch, I’m going to win that draw”.

Over the next three days I executed my experiment: sincere conversation.

Here’s what I observed when I first analyzed the situation: a booth of little interest with a great prize created a situation where there was a tonne of traffic and zero discussion - people dropped a card for the draw and moved on. The guy had a fantastic personality and I quickly found out that he took the position after retiring because of his love for the city.

So what did I do? I listened to his stories. I asked him questions and found out about his evening and his dinner. I told him my stories. And then, I made him laugh. A lot.

The key was that I was completely sincere. I was interested in his stories, his thoughts on the local sports teams, and how his steak was the night before. I spent a few minutes talking with him at the start of the day and whenever I passed his booth. I actually liked him - it would have been hard not to; he was a great guy. But nobody else even said hello. To them he was simply an uninteresting booth with a great prize.

On the last day a voice barked out the winner of the draw over the loudspeaker and I almost died laughing when I heard my name.

Note: edited for a number of reasons.

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Anthony 4 years ago 1 point
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The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
Jean Giraudoux
French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 - 1944)

The great thing is that people come with an inbuilt sincerity radar and can spot imposters a mile away. You show a genuine interest and the karma points flow.

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http://www.anthonydever.com

Anthony 4 years ago 1 point
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The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. Jean Giraudoux French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 - 1944) The great thing is that people come with an inbuilt sincerity radar and can spot imposters a mile away. You show a genuine interest and the karma points flow.

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Fraser 4 years ago 1 point
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Lots of people are only interested in people who they think will bring them "value" - a real shame.

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http://www.disruptivethoughts.com

Eric Olson 4 years ago 1 point
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Thats awesome! Its amazing what can happen if you just genuinely like people. There are a lot of people out there with some great stories and you'd never know it by looking at them. I met a guy named Bernie at the Podcast Acadmy at Boston University last weekend who seemed like a regular guy just there to learn about podcasting. Luckily I had the chance to chat with him over dinner one night and I came to find out that he had a very extensive law enforcement background and was even a secret service guard for President Kennedy and President Johnson! Not only that, he is also an author (http://www.mexborderpress.com) and he gave me a copy of his book "The Dirty River" which looks like it will be a great read. You can check out an interview with him here (http://www.chrisbrogan.com/). Have fun at Indy! What a great prize and all you had to do to win it was meet a great person.

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http://www.ventureweek.com/blog

Fraser 4 years ago 1 point
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Lots of people are only interested in people who they think will bring them "value" - a real shame.

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Eric Olson 4 years ago 1 point
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Thats awesome! Its amazing what can happen if you just genuinely like people. There are a lot of people out there with some great stories and you'd never know it by looking at them. I met a guy named Bernie at the Podcast Acadmy at Boston University last weekend who seemed like a regular guy just there to learn about podcasting. Luckily I had the chance to chat with him over dinner one night and I came to find out that he had a very extensive law enforcement background and was even a secret service guard for President Kennedy and President Johnson! Not only that, he is also an author (<a href="http://www.mexborderpress.com) " rel="nofollow">http://www.mexborderpress.com) and he gave me a copy of his book "The Dirty River" which looks like it will be a great read. You can check out an interview with him here (http://www.chrisbrogan.com/). Have fun at Indy! What a great prize and all you had to do to win it was meet a great person.

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